Sunday, June 6, 2010

Getting There...

Where to start? I did really well last nite with housework and laundry! There's still a lot to do but I feel good about what I've accomplished. I got at least 3 loads of laundry done, the laundry room, garage entryway and 1/2 bathroom done last nite. They all needed some TLC badly. They are still in decent shape today. So I tried something, an experiment. I went to bed at 1 am and had my alarm set. I got 4 hours of sleep and woke up without a problem at 5 am. Now, what was my reason for getting up at 5 am? So I could get my morning routine done before the kids wake up. Ya, well I rolled over, opened my eyes and got a big old grin from Alex. He was already awake. So I ask him what he's awake for and gave him his paci. After I did that Nikolas is coming down the stairs. So at 5 am I had two kids awake.

About the time my alarm went off at 4:30 am is when Erek was going to bed. He asked me how the baby was and I told him he's fine. He put his hands on my belly. Then he said he was sorry things didn't work out between the two of us. About this time Nikolas joined us in bed. Erek was being all touchy feely. I asked Erek what he was doing and his reply was the classic male answer of 'I dunno'. So I told him he can't keep going back and forth like this, gave Nikolas a hug and kiss and got out of bed. I went to the bathroom and then Erek says to come here. I go sit on his side of the bed and he asks how I'm doing with this. My reply, I'm doing fine, not like I can dwell on it, I have 3 boys to care for and one to get ready for. Then I added that I wasn't letting myself think about it. He asked if I wanted to lay down and I said Nope. I got up and took myself away from the situation. I just don't get it. I try to work on things and he just acts cold, distant, and like a total jerk. I give up on us and he's like this! I'm just not going to let it affect me this time. He's done! Like I told him, I have 3 boys I have to take care of and Logan will be here very soon. I need to prepare myself to be a single mom of 4 boys. I need to get my life ready for that with routines for both me and the boys. I am not going to let my kids down. They depend on me for care and love. I'm using this time that we're still living together to get my system in place, my home cleaned, laundry done up, and ready for Logan's arrival. I don't have a choice, I have to do this.

Now with that said I need to get off my ass and get these thing done. First up is laundry and then the kitchen. Here we go!

Well, writing really helped motivate me so I'm hoping it will have the same effect tonight. I got a load of laundry done, the kitchen cleaned up and made and ate dinner. We had pancakes, bacon, cantelope, and oatmeal. It was very good and filling. I got my list made out for tonight and then watched a cartoon with Nikolas. I love spending time with him. Now it's time to motivate myself and get this house sparkling.

My house is startin to look a lot better! The upstairs with the exception of the office and the kid's bathroom (which can always use a cleaning) the rest of the rooms on that floor just need some straightening. The laundry room, garage entryway, 1/2 bathroom and master bathroom are in pretty good shape. I had the kitchen sparkling but then made dinner so its a mess again. So the kitchen, living room, dining room, front entryway and my bedroom all need some serious cleaning but they are all on my list for tonight, along with laundry. Now I just need to get the motivation and get busy!

But first I need to complain about something. You guessed it, it has to do with Erek. So first I need to explain something that would make my complaint more understandable. At Erek's work they do a points system. You get a point for calling in, having to go home early, and 1/2 a point for being late. If you accumulate 10 points within a year's time you get fired. Well Erek had 8 points as of yesterday. So what does he do today? He called in and traveled 4 hours south to visit his best friend. So that puts him at 9 points. I am 37 weeks pregnant! This means that sometime in the next 3 weeks I will be going into labor. If I go into labor while he's at work I can't call him out of work. So there is a good chance that I will be alone for the delivery. This is so selfish of him to do this. It just irritates me to no end! When he does stuff like this it really makes me wonder! Oh well, there's not a damn thing I can do about it. But now that I've complained about it, I can move on and not let it bother me. I will just have to prepare myself to go thru labor alone. I now must carry on and focus on my boys, my pregnancy, our home and the laundry.

Well I feel much better now and I'm starting to get motivated. First up is laundry, then the kitchen, more laundry, the living room, laundry again, dining room and front entryway, even more laundry and my bedroom. Somewhere in there I need to get Andrew and Nikolas to bed. I'd better get started!

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